Tim Paine finishes himself off
Just gonna get right into this one: Australia captain Tim Paine has quit on the eve of the Ashes after admitting he sent an “unsolicited” dick pic and some dirty messages to a female staffer.
Paine – married with kids – sent the DMs to a Cricket Australia employee in November 2017 – on the first day of the last Ashes series Down Under.
Here’s the main exchange:
Highlights:
- Paine – a cricket nerd – working in a “firm pull” cricket pun.
- His sudden escalation despite her clear lack of interest.
- “Finish me off right now!!!”
Can only imagine the wave of guilt and embarrassment that washed over him immediately after ejaculating.
Also – has a dick pic ever been “solicited”?
His wife is standing by him. Here’s a pic of them together:
Awful for her, and very weird from Paine. But we’re not sure he should have to quit over this. The case for the defence:
- It was clearly a two way thing until Paine went a bit far.
- The woman only complained seven months later – after she’d been sacked and charged with stealing.
- The blazers investigated it and ruled it was consensual, private and a one-off. There was no punishment.
Paine quit in a tearful press conference this morning (see pic at top), saying although he’d been cleared of wrongdoing years ago, it would be an unwelcome disruption for the team if he stayed on.
Particularly funny as he was the man brought in to “restore the culture” in after Steve Smith and David Warner got the axe over ball tampering. They cried too.
Actually think it helps Australia’s chances for the Ashes though – Smith will probably return as captain and they might drop Paine in favour of Carey at wicketkeeper.
