22nd Sep, 2021 Football

Naughty but niece

On slow news days at the Towers, when our lowlife hacks are so desperate for a story they resort to rifling through Lawrence Dallaglio’s bins, we turn to Brazil. You can always count on one of their footballers to be waist deep in some sordid scandal, often involving borderline incest.

This week it’s Brazilian striker Hulk, who you may recall married his niece, Camila last year. At the time, Hulk claimed the wedding was for visa reasons, so Camila could stay with him in China.

That’s slightly harder to believe now the couple have announced they are having a baby. They even had the audacity to publish this official photo of Camila straddling Hulk like a boa constrictor devouring a bewildered mongoose.

It’s particularly confusing for Hulk’s three existing kids, who he had with Camila’s aunt during their 12 year marriage. Their cousin is also their step mother, and their half sibling will also be their cousin.

Brazil!

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