Walking into your first client meeting after two years working from home
A painful attempted handshake for Newcastle matriarch Amanda Staveley after her side’s 3-1 win over Everton this week.
Marc Overmars was nicknamed ‘horny cousin’ at Ajax
We’re hearing a bit more from our Dutch bureau about the antics of Marc Overmars, who quit his job with Ajax after female employees complained about the 50-year-old sending them unwanted filthy messages.
You’d probably already priced this in, but we can confirm the messages included a series of unsolicited dick pics.
Apparently the former Arsenal midfielder was known at the club as “Dirty Uncle Marc” and “geilneef”, which means “horny cousin“.
By contrast, former club CEO Edwin van der Sar, was considered a “friendly father” figure.
But the former Man United keeper hasn’t come out of this squeaky clean either – apparently he knew about Dirty Uncle Marc’s behaviour for weeks and only acted against his old friend when the women involved threatened to go to the press.
Anthem for hooned youth: What’s the best Six Nations anthem?
It’s that time of year, when the pubs fill with blokes in Musto fleeces saying stuff like “soldiers deserve footballers wages”. The Six Nations is back.
Besides being one of the best tournaments in international sport, the Six Nations also hosts several classic national anthems. But which is the best?
God Save The Queen (England)
It does the job, but against songs which celebrate brave struggles and national solidarity, GSTQ is a dreary anachronism, especially when bangers like I Vow To Thee My Country are available.
The “daa dah dah dahhh…send her victorious” crescendo is always a pleasure, though.
La Marseillaise (France)
The godfather of them all. A thunderous, martial romp crammed full of evocative lyrics which sometimes go a little far. “Let’s water the fields with impure blood”, for example.
It’s one hell of a tune, with a typically French element of menace. You can imagine singing it en route to fight the Austrians. Or, y’know, while guillotining your local priest.
Ireland’s Call (Ireland)
Yes, we know there are two Irish anthems, let’s not get into all that now. Since ’95 Ireland’s Call has been the main one, and it’s a catchy, bouncy number with easy lyrics. It’s a liiiittle bit cheesy and modern, but good fun and the kids love it.
Il Canto degli Italiani (Italy)
Surprisingly popular among football fans, we always wrote it off as some nationalist hymn from a time when the fates of nations were decided by the bedroom exploits of haemophiliac princes.
But it’s actually a nice plucky one with a few loud moments. Often the highlight of Italy’s performances.
Flower of Scotland (Scotland)
Sombre yet passionate, angry yet beautiful, FOS is a rousing number, especially when set to bagpipes at a drizzly Murrayfield before they face the Auld Enemy. If we’re being picky, it’s slightly hateful compared to other options, but maybe that’s the point.
Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau (Wales)
The French cook, the Spanish make love, and the Welsh sha… they sing. Their anthem is an absolute spine-tingler, especially when it’s belted out by 80,000 hammered locals at the Milennium Stadium, easily the best rugby ground in the world.
Not a clue what the song’s about, though.
And the fourth official has indicated there will be minus 20 seconds of stoppage time
It’s been a slow start to the African Cup of Nations, with almost every game finishing 1-0 so far.
But fortunately there’s been plenty of other entertainment in the stifling Cameroonian heat.
The tournament kicked off with a spicy start, as Burkina Faso’s Steeve Yago flew in with the horror challenge above after just 38 seconds, earning himself a punch in the back.
Meanwhile, in Tunisia v Mali, controversy struck. Zambian Referee Janny Sikazwe gave two questionable penalties and a harsh red card.
Following a second half that included several lengthy stoppages, he blew the full time whistle after just 85 minutes.
When the livid Tunisians – who trailed 1-0 – demanded he reverse the decision, he agreed to restart.
But four minutes later, with the clock still only showing 89 minutes, Janny blew for full-time again, leading to angry protests from the Tunisians.
With the post-match press conferences underway, tournament officials intervened and announced the game would be restarted again so injury time could be played.
Mali reappeared but despite their fury, Tunisia never returned. They’d already jumped on the team bus and left the stadium.
As for the ref, he was escorted off the field by security, who formed a protective ring around him. Officials later said he was suffering from heat stroke.
A brief history of minor Premier League players taking photos of obscene sums of cash
Phil Bardsley finally returned to the Burnley starting XI on the weekend, which seems like a nice, flimsy excuse to dig out this old snap of him lying on a casino floor covered in £50 notes.
This was during the 2012/13 Premier League campaign, a golden era for stars flashing their cash for the cameras.
In that same season, three other players appeared in similar pics.
In December, West Brom’s Liam Ridgewell was snapped wiping his arse with £20 notes. He later explained it was a gag to “wind up a friend who lost a bet”.
One month later, then-Newcastle striker Nile Ranger spelled out his name in 20 bob notes and posted a photo on Instagram. He was arrested on another matter later that day.
And finally, here’s former Aston Villa keeper Matthew Ghent, who stuck this up on Facebook in early 2013.
New lick o’ paint
Ukranian side FC Chernomorets Odessa announced new signing Douglas Bergvist by drawing their kit on an old picture of him in Microsoft Paint and chucking it on Instagram.
They accompanied the image with this caption:
Swede Douglas Bergqvist was discovered in Turkish team. Four consonants in a row – this is the way to success for every football commentator. Douglas moved to Chornomorets from Kalmar FF (squid in ukrainian). Game is on! Red – stop Green – also stop ⚫️🔵Black and blue – move on!
Yeah!!!