Brooklyn Beckham’s leap from photographer of blurry animals to celebrity chef is complete – the 22-year-old has a new Instagram TV series where top chefs teach him to cook.
In a promo for Cookin’ with Brookyln, the eldest Beckham child whips up an exciting tagliatelle dish, including a £500 wheel of Grana Padano cheese.
Pretty impressive until you realise it’s just pasta, parmesan and parsley. Student fodder really. And there’s no evidence the subsequent pecan pie isn’t just a microwaveable Gü ready meal.
Still, a big improvement from the days of “beacon and egg sandwiches”.
In another clip, Brook whips up a clam pasta for his brother Romeo and brother-in-law Zach, who looks like he’d prefer to be in his room embarking on a PornHub/Call of Duty marathon rather than catching norovirus for the benefit of Brooklyn’s TV career.
Exercise toy Boxbollen markets itself as a fun workout for all the family. So what better celeb to front their new ad campaign than Mr Family Values, John Terry?
In the Swedish brand’s Christmas commercial, John is seen frolicking in his front room with wife Toni before encouraging viewers to snap up a set and enjoy fun “for all age groups. For kids, grandparents.”
Sadly the squeaky clean vibe is slightly compromised by the huge artwork hanging on JT’s wall, which screams in a huge font, “Fuck dancing, let’s fuck”.
Following last week’s Michael Owen and Oliver Khan stories, we were alerted to a great tale about Michael Jordan, colloquially known as the “fuck them kids” incident.
About five years ago, NBA star Chris Paul was running a basketball summer camp for kids and he invited the legendary Chicago Bull down to give an inspiring talk. Sensing an opportunity flog some of his name brand sneakers, Jordan agreed.
The 53-year-old was showing off his old skills when Paul challenged him to score a series of tricky three pointers. If he missed any, Jordan had to give a pair of his coveted Air Jordan trainers to every kid in the camp.
Ever the competitor, Jordan stepped up. The children’s good-natured boos gradually turned to resigned silence, as their hero sunk every single shot. Fuck them kids!
When Michael Jordan had to sink every shot or give an entire basketball camp free Air Jordan trainers.
They may have cocked up the Champions League draw, but nothing will beat the time Rod Stewart turned up hammered to the Scottish FA Cup draw.
The scene opens with the giggling singer grabbing the arse of dour Scottish FA President Alan McRae, who desperately tries to keep a lid on things.
Rod then theatrically dips his hand into the pot for each draw, which he later explained was an impersonation of comedian Rod Hull and his emu puppet.
Plenty more to enjoy in the full clip, including a cheer for Celtic, a second arse grab, and the constant feeling he might just piss himself and keel over.
Another beautiful ensemble from Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who met up with American rapper Common and came dressed as the late Colonel Gaddafi.
It was a big week for other Premier League fashionistas too – below you’ll find Arsenal’s on-loan defender Hector Bellerin and Man United full back Alex Telles, who does a great Salt Bae impression.
The third tier Europa Conference League already has something of an image problem, so the last thing its fans needed was a dog running on to the field before a game and depositing a huge steaming turd on the turf while staring straight at the TV camera.
But that’s exactly what happened before Partizan Belgrade’s tie with Cypriot giants Anorthosis Famagusta.
