Unlike England, Leo Messi’s Argentina finally broke their 28 year trophy duck and won the Copa America yesterday.
Needless to say they acted like proper bastards throughout the tournament, particularly goalkeeper Emi Martinez, who you can see above pretending to shag the trophy like he’s a 14 year old boy.
During the semi-final shootout against Colombia, the Aston Villa stopper resorted to yelling trash talk at the penalty takers to put them off.
As Everton’s Yerry Mina stood over the ball, Martinez taunted him:
You’re nervous, huh? I can tell you’re nervous. I know where you’re going to shoot. Watch and see how I’m gonna eat you up. Look, I know you, eh, I’ll eat you. Remember, I’m gonna eat you up.
Mina missed the penalty and Argentina went on to win the tournament.
With the recriminations over France’s exit in full swing, an unlikely villain has emerged: Veronique, the overbearing mother of midfielder Adrien Rabiot.
Following Kylian Mbappe’s penalty miss, the Parisian battleaxe was spotted by TV cameras berating other players’ families for their performances.
She reportedly told Mbappe’s father his son was “arrogant”, adding: “It is embarrassing how he struck that, for a player of his level. He hit it too lightly. I hope you are going to scold him.”
And she had a 20 minute row with Paul Pogba’s friends and family, after she blamed the Man United midfielder for Switzerland’s late equaliser. It became so heated the stadium stewards had to intervene.
Veronique, who is also Rabiot‘s agent, is famously protective of her son. She previously wrote a letter to manager Didier Deschamps to demand he picked Adrien more often.
Sounds like a healthy mother-son relationship!
“Bring it on,” tweeted Chancellor Rishi Sunak yesterday, along with a cropped photo of him pulling on an England shirt.
Great to see the government jumping on the bandwagon, although not quite as convincing when you see the full photo…
The Daily Mirror has given Michael Owen an absolute shafting by publishing some ‘filthy’ messages he sent to a former Big Brother housemate.
As with everything Owen does, his messages are so boring, they’re actually quite fascinating.
A few lowlights:
- Asks her to send through 20 topless pics so he can “judge” if they are suitable for putting on social media.
- Gets impatient and texts: “Come on then, fire them through. It’s a long boring trip to London so I need something to do… leave nothing to the imagination.”
- Replies “tremendous by the way.” when he finally gets to see the goods.
- Questions whether her boobs are “falsies“.
This is probably our favourite line:
When asked what intrigued him about her, Owen replied: ‘Your past. Your present. Your posts with your tits out.’
Delighted to bring you another tale of a bollock lost on the rugby field, courtesy of All Blacks legend Wayne ‘Buck’ Shelford, who lost his testicle in the infamous “Battle of Nantes” game against France in 1986:
I got caught at a bottom of a ruck, and got booted right in the face and I lost three teeth on my right hand side so I just carried on, got on with the game.
Then about ten minutes into the second half, as I stood up Daniel [Dubroca] kicked me right in the nuts. Man did it bloody hurt.
And I thought nothing of it and I carried on playing. The All Black changing room was very very morbid, very quiet after a loss.
So I decided to get dressed. Stoop up, ripped me gear off, pulled my strides down and then one of the guys from across the room said ‘Holy shit, look at that’.
One of my testicles had been ripped right out of the scrotum and it was hanging between my legs.
I went upstairs to a medical room and got it all tidied up. These sort of things do happen and you’ve just got to play on.
Do you have to play on?
The Super League’s dirty dozen may have felt the wrath of the people this week, but that was absolutely nothing compared to what German side Schalke had to deal with.
A 600-strong mob armed with fireworks and eggs waited until 1am at the club’s ground to greet their newly relegated players, who were returning from a 1-0 defeat.
Terrifying footage (above) shows the players sprinting away from the angry ultras, who chased them across the stadium concourse.
Among the fleeing Schalke players was former Arsenal defender Sead Kolasinac, who famously fought off two knife-wielding robbers in London. Understandably, he didn’t rate his chances this time.
