Just when the witchcraft blackmail plot against Paul Pogba was taking centre stage in the macabre psychodrama of French football, resident headcases Wanda and Mauro Icardi are embroiled in an absurd scandal of their own.
The Paris St Germain striker and his wife/agent have been charged with human trafficking after their former housekeeper accused them of enslaving her, forcing her to sleep on the floor of the utility room and go days without food.
The woman, known only as Carmen, says the couple confiscated her phone and passport, failed to pay her for three years, and left her on her own at their house in rural Italy where she ran out of food and was forced to live off old bags of rice for days.
So yeah, just another normal week for the Icardis. Who deny the charges, by the way.
Argentina recorded a famous win on Saturday, beating the All Blacks in New Zealand for the first time.
But their real achievement took place on Thursday night, when the Pumas’ touring party of 50 devoured 100kg of meat – 2kg per head. For comparison, a typical supermarket steak is 2-300g.
According to Valentina Marquez from Christchurch restaurant El Quincho, the players wolfed down the following: “A whole lamb [which weighed] 25 to 30 kilos, we had 60-70 chorizo [sausages], we had around 50kg of beef and around 20kg of chicken and pork.”
Surprised they could get out of bed let alone beat the All Blacks…
Just when it seemed like the credits were rolling on everyone’s favourite soap opera, the macabre psychodrama of French football has thrown up another ludicrous plotline.
This time Paul Pogba is the unfortunate protagonist: the former United midfielder has accused his own brother and several childhood friends of kidnapping him with assault rifles and then trying to blackmail him for £11 million.
Pogba says the gang of hooded men dragged him to an apartment in Paris and demanded “protection money” for the last 13 years. He paid them £100k as a peace offering but the threats continued.
According to French investigators, the gang said they would reveal incriminating details about Pogba‘s private life, including a claim that he hired a witch doctor to curse his France teammate Kylian Mbappe.
The news emerged after Pogba‘s brother Mathias released a video threatening his brother and Mbappe with “damaging revelations”.
“Everything could be explosive and make a lot of noise,” he warned.
As you can see from the above pic of them in a charity friendly, Paul used to be close with Mathias, whose career peaked with underwhelming spells at Wrexham and Patrick Thistle.
But apparently his brother and their friends became resentful of Paul’s millions and wanted a slice of the pie.
So they did what any reasonable person would: grabbed their assault rifles!
Here’s Newcastle’s Allan Saint-Maximin handing a Rolex to a Newcastle fan who, you have to say, could’ve looked a bit more excited about randomly receiving a ten grand timepiece.
Although it turns out it wasn’t a random gift – Saint-Maximin knows the guy from the local board game community, in which he is an active member.
In fact, the Frenchman released his own card game called Helios, based on Greek mythology, his favourite subject.
He explained earlier this year: “I tested it with friends. We started to play small tournaments at home. It took two and a half years – but I am really happy that I didn’t stop.”
He invited 40 Geordies to the launch event at a local hotel where he spent nine hours teaching them the rules and giving cash prizes to the winners.
Novak Djokovic is currently set to miss the US Open because he isn’t vaccinated. But one fan on Reddit has spotted a loophole that can get the Serbian star into the country.
It turns out the vaccine rule only applies to travellers arriving in the US by air or land and ferry crossings from Canada and Mexico.
So here’s the ingenious idea:
The rule says nothing about ferry crossings between Florida and the Bahamas. To get in the Bahamas all you need is a negative test, no vaccine required. So there you go Novak, just get to Nassau, then take the puddle jumper to Bimini and then zoom right into Fort Lauderdale on the Resorts World International ferry “Balearia” for the short 50 mile crossing to Miami. Problem solved!
We’ve been eagerly awaiting RichardKeys‘ inevitable blog post on the Women’s Euros, and it is does not disappoint.
After getting the platitudes out the way, Keysy reflects on his downfall/stitch-up, blaming “carefully edited phone footage” and reminding readers of all the great things he said about linesman Sian Massey before he ridiculed her presence.
It’s pure David Brent: they filmed hours of material, and most of it is a good bloke doing a good job. But the one time you humiliate a female official and talk about “smashing it” and “hanging out the back of” women, they put that on TV.
He even finds time to blame Massey herself:
It was Sian that introduced me to the word ‘banter’. She used it in the conversation I had with her on the Sunday when I called to apologise for what was said in the hack. But she shouldn’t have done. What she should have told me was ‘not funny Richard. It doesn’t help’. It was some time before I realised that.
And then, our favourite part, Keys suggests he might be partly responsible for England’s victory at Wembley:
Ironically, I think the incident did help in many ways – but that was a lucky by-product. I think a lot of people look back on it now as a turning point in how seriously men were prepared to take women’s football. Most of us have realised things had to change.
Finally, he reveals he has been anonymously donating money to a women’s football team “in my manor” for years, but insisted that no one ever found out about his sponsorship. Until now, apparently.
