Some cracking names in the Indian Keirin team at the Commonwealth Games – amazing that they’re both on the same team.
Ronaldo Laitonjam is actually named after Brazil star Ronaldinho, who scored that surprise 40 yard free kick against England on the day he was born.
Ronaldo explained: “I think my dad won some money that day. That’s probably why I got that name. He felt I was very lucky for him”.
DavidBeckham Elkatohchoongo on the other hand, just comes from a Man United supporting family.
He had real trouble getting into the UK last week because an eagle-eyed passport inspector somehow deduced that he wasn’t the real DavidBeckham.
He told an interviewer: “When I got to the airport, the inspector said, ‘Is that really your name, DavidBeckham? You are lying, you are not DavidBeckham.'”
It’s often said footballers live a childlike existence, and here’s further proof: a leaked list of the fines for Aston Villa’s squad next season.
Particularly enjoyed the punishment to deal with snus – those little bags of tobacco that go in your mouth.
Didn’t realise it was so popular in football but it makes sense – it’s a nicotine hit without filling your lungs with smoke.
If you’re wondering about the “cakes on birthday” rule – the birthday boy is expected to bring in cake for all his teammates. Which possibly explains the size of John McGinn’s arse.
Finally, can someone shed some light on why they have to wear flip flops in the shower? Is that to prevent athlete’s foot?
It’s been nearly three years since Virat Kohli scored an international hundred, and the former India captain is feeling the heat.
So the last thing he needs is his rivals offering faux concern via condescending messages of support.
But that’s what he got from Pakistan star and Upshot favourite Babar Azam, who tweeted a picture of the pair with the caption, “This too shall pass. Stay strong”.
You could say Babar was being sincere, but the subtext was very much “you are struggling and I am not”. And he just happened to choose a photo taken during Pakistan’s thrashing of India at last year’s World T20.
Given Kohli has 70 international hundreds to Babar’s 27, it’s a bit like the promising kid on the grad scheme coming to you with “some feedback on your management style”.
Is there a word for this kind of jibe-packaged-as-kindness? If not, we’re calling it a Babar.
It’s been a tough start for former England Women’s manager PhilNeville who is now the gaffer at Inter Miami the new American side owned by David Beckham.
Following a poor first season, Miami are languishing in the bottom half of the table once again.
Given those struggles, it was slightly odd to hear Neville describe this week’s friendly against Barcelona as “the biggest game in the club’s history”, but such is life for these credibility-hungry MLS franchises.
Anyway, at least Miami fans could look forward to the manager picking a full-strength side, including stars like Gonzalo Higuain and er, Harvey Neville, Phil‘s son, who came on at half-time despite never having played in the American top flight before.
He was joined soon after by another young gun with no MLS experience – a Mr Romeo Beckham.
Erling Haaland might be trousering £2,000 an hour from Man City, but he knows a bargain when he sees one.
The Norwegian striker headed to a big Sainsbury’s this week to stock up his Manchester digs like a fresher milking the parents for one last shop.
We’d always assumed he lived off creatine and lamb’s blood, but it was a fairly normal looking trolley: pedal bins, glassware, a big ol’ bottle of ketchup and a year’s supply of Malden sea salt.
Not pictured: large box of condoms, £1 pack of disgusting wafer ham, 12 frozen pizzas, Trainspotting poster, 10 pack of Richmond Superkings, paracetamol, 100 canisters of Mr Creamy laughing gas, Babybels and some Robinson’s fruit squash which he’ll later mix with Glen’s Vodka in a huge Sports Direct mug.
Anyway, good on him. Although for sheer domestic misery, it doesn’t beat Bruno Fernandes and his wife’s iconic trip to Tesco.
So it’s farewell to Sue Barker – the beloved Wimbledon presenter is retiring after 30 years.
The BBC broadcast a lovely tribute after Sunday’s final, but there was no mention of the time comedian Frank Skinner joined Sue on a Question of Sport, which she hosted.
It was the picture round, and an image appeared of a sportsperson looking out to sea from the edge of a cliff.
Frank turned to Barker, who famously dated pop oddball Cliff Richard, and asked deadpan, “Sue, have you ever sat on a Cliff face?”
She couldn’t contain her laughter, but sadly it didn’t make the edit.
