Category Archives: Basketball
The Golden State Warriors are a game away from winning the NBA Championship and their star player Steph Curry has got plenty on his plate.
The last thing he needs is his parents and their friends putting their car keys in a bowl and holding some kind of Eyes Wide Shut swingers night live on ESPN while he’s playing ball six yards away.
But that’s exactly what’s happening – following their split last year, Curry’s parents have wife-swapped with another couple and both new couples were courtside in Boston on Tuesday to watch the Warriors take a 3-2 lead in the seven game series.
On a scale of 1 to Neymar, it’s still not as fucked up as your mum dating your 24-year-old secret lover, but it’s pretty bloody distracting.
Following last week’s Michael Owen and Oliver Khan stories, we were alerted to a great tale about Michael Jordan, colloquially known as the “fuck them kids” incident.
About five years ago, NBA star Chris Paul was running a basketball summer camp for kids and he invited the legendary Chicago Bull down to give an inspiring talk. Sensing an opportunity flog some of his name brand sneakers, Jordan agreed.
The 53-year-old was showing off his old skills when Paul challenged him to score a series of tricky three pointers. If he missed any, Jordan had to give a pair of his coveted Air Jordan trainers to every kid in the camp.
Ever the competitor, Jordan stepped up. The children’s good-natured boos gradually turned to resigned silence, as their hero sunk every single shot. Fuck them kids!
“Michael Jordan and I aren’t close and never have been,” confesses Scotty Pippen in his new memoir.
The famously stingy Chicago Bull is cheesed off at his “insulting and condescending” portrayal as a sidekick in The Last Dance, the hit Netflix documentary Jordan co-produced, and which netted him $8 million.
But don’t feel too sorry for Scottie. Pippen is widely rumoured to have an absolute howitzer of a penis, easily dwarfing Jordan in the showers.
According to one source who saw him naked in the locker room, “His monster peeked out about 2-3 inches from his knee sitting down.”
Jordan was said to be extremely jealous of the rumours, and of his teammate’s success with women.
According to former Bulls coach Johnny Bach: “That killed Michael. You should have seen the girls Pippen had waiting for him everywhere he went.
“Whenever the Bulls were in LA, Madonna would pick up Scottie in a limo complete with a hot tub.”
An indignant Jordan would corner the Queen of Pop at parties and protest that he could satisfy her better than Pippen. To which she replied: “Not a chance.”
Fans have only just returned to the NBA, and already they’re causing drama. This week, four fans were chucked out of a game after a war of words with LeBron James.
Booze baron Chris Carlos, 56, was abusing the basketball legend from his courtside seat when Lebron hit back, calling him “Ol‘ steroid ass“.
This prompted Carlos’ 25-year-old wife, Juliana to stand up, pull off her mask and scream at LeBron, ordering him not to “talk shit” about her sugar daddy husband.
The game was stopped and security chucked the couple and their two friends out of the arena.
The footage really is a joy to behold, especially the moment when she realises she’s being filmed and gives her hair a flick.
For reference, here is a picture of her with Ol‘ Steroid Ass, from Juliana’s Instagram:
Despite Scottie Pippen‘s huge personal wealth, the Chicago Bull is notoriously stingy: he even earned the nickname “No Tippin’ Pippen” because he never gives anything to waiters. Rival Charles Barkley once said: “There’s nobody cheaper than Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan.”
But 6ft 8in Scottie took this to extreme lengths in 2017 when he sued a five year old girl for defacing the walls of a house he rented to her family.
Pippen was originally suing her parents, who he said had done serious damage to the house. But when he discovered their daughter – aged four at the time – had drawn on the wall in crayon, he sued her too. Nice!
