Tough times for Alan Pardew, who is now punching the clock in Bulgaria after the Premier League job offers dried up. “I feel a bit aggrieved because, for whatever reason, people turned their backs on me,” the former West Ham and Newcastle gaffer complained this week.
Yeah, what reasons could they possibly have? Sadly a High Court injunction prohibits us from sharing our preferred answer to that question, but perhaps Pards’ breathtaking arrogance also played a role in his decline.
For example, take this story from his West Ham days, courtesy of club photographer Stevie Bacon.
Bacon was sat with Pardew and fitness coach Tony Strudwick in the club canteen, waiting for their dinner, when Pardew asked the pair what food they ordered. Bacon recalls:
Pards then turned to Struds, who revealed whatever it was he’d asked for. “That sounds good,” said Pards. “Tell you what; if yours is better than mine when it turns up, I’m having that.”
That was one of the things he’d always say: I’m having that. “See that bloke’s haircut. I’m having that.” He said it all the time.
Anyway, I wasn’t “having that” at all. So I said “Well, you’re certainly not having my dinner. You’ll get a fork in the back of your hand!” Pardew sort of laughed, before turning back to Struds and saying, “Yeah, if yours is better than mine, I’m having that.”
Our meals eventually arrived and Pards looked at Tony and said, “Yeah, I was right, yours definitely looks much better than mine; I’m having that.” And he went to swap the plates over. “You can’t do that!” I said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You can’t just take somebody’s else’s dinner,” I said in disbelief.
And he replied, without any hint of a joke, “When you’re the King, you can do anything.”
As Christmas approaches and America welcomes Brits once again, we remember the time Jamie Carragher took his family to New York, and his Dad brought a Superdrug carrier bag out with him.
(Credit to Dan Sandison for this one)
James Rodriguez’s midlife crisis continues – the former Everton midfielder has dyed his hair a hideous aquamarine blue.
The 30-year-old – nicknamed “Party Beast” during his Bayern Munich days – is currently rotting in the Qatar Stars League, which is a bizarre waste for a player once considered world class.
What’s really going on with the Colombian? We’re hearing two conflicting theories…
1) He moved to Qatar to escape Everton and is regaining fitness before joining PSG in January.
2) We’ll refer you to this message which did the rounds on WhatsApp in the spring:
Michael Carrick is at the wheel as Man United visit Chelsea this weekend, pitting the interim boss against the decorated Thomas Tuchel in only his second ever game as manager.
To mark the occasion, we’re hoping Sky Sports bring back this rather uncharitable head-to-head table they used for Tottenham caretaker boss Ryan Mason when he faced Pep Guardiola’s Man City.
A rather unfortunate celebration from Flamengo’s Joao Gomes, tugging on his shorts like a frustrated toddler until a teste popped out the side.
It’s been quite the week for Flamengo actually – the Brazilian giants were the subject of two other fairly intense videos.
First, a couple of fans climbed on top of the team bus and poked their heads through the emergency exit, startling their heroes.
Then, one of the Flamego ultras shared this clip from the stands…
A quick dispatch from the front line of menacing sexual energy, Paris, where detectives are still hunting the architect of the violent attack on PSG midfielder Kheira Hamraoui.
Last week we revealed the wife of former Barcelona defender Eric Abidal was a suspect, after police heard rumours Eric and Hamraoui were having an affair.
Now Abidal’s wife has filed for divorce, and the former France defender has begged for her forgiveness on Instagram, writing: “I deserve this humiliation even though it kills me alive. Thank God. God willing one day you will forgive me. #loveyoutothemoonandback.”
Not sure that’s going to get him very far, but we enjoyed the Clinton Cards hashtag.
Meanwhile, a court found Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema guilty of blackmailing former France teammate Mathieu Valbuena over a sex tape.
They handed him a suspended 12 month prison sentence and a £100k fine. Disappointing – we were hoping for some sordid escapades behind bars.
