The Kheira Hamraoui affair has finally come full circle – Parisian police have re-arrested initial suspect and midfield rival Aminata Diallo over the hit job that plunged PSG into civil war.
Back in November, Diallo (above left) gave Hamraoui a lift back from a team dinner, but when they arrived at her house, two masked hitmen appeared, dragged her from the car and beat her with iron bars, paying special attention to her legs.
With her rival in hospital, Diallo was promoted from warming the bench and turned in a star performance as her side thrashed Real Madrid 4-0.
But her PSG contract conveniently expired in the summer and despite denying any involvement, she’s now in the slammer, where police have charged her and four men.
Depending on your level of cynicism, David Beckham’s 13 hour stint in The Queue was either a heartfelt tribute to the nation’s grandmother, or a calculated bid to finally secure that elusive knighthood.
Becks has been stuck on a lowly OBE since 2003, and in 2017 he branded the honours committee “unappreciative cunts” for overlooking him and told his PR team, “unless it’s a knighthood fuck off.”
When classical singer Katherine Jenkins got an OBE, he raged, “Katherine Jenkins OBE for what? Singing at the rugby and going to see the troops plus taking coke. Fucking joke.”
While we’re on the subject of Becks paying tribute to beloved queens, here’s one of our favourite tweets of the last few years…
While we’re bathing in the murky swamp of French football, here’s another one for you, starring the French FA’s 81-year-old president, NoëlLe Graët.
Monsieur Le Graët is suing a sports magazine for libel after they published a string of texts he allegedly sent to female colleagues, including:
“I prefer blondes, so if you fancy it…”
“Come to my place for dinner tonight.”
You’re awfullycurvy, I would definitely put you in my bed.”
According to insiders, the spectacled bigwig has a reputation for unwanted advances – as one co-worker put it: “It’s very simple, he jumps on anything that moves.”
This latest episode of sleaze was yet another exposé from renowned hack Romain Molina, who has built an entire career on unmasking the sordid miscreants of French football.
As the fallout from Chelsea’s sacking of Thomas Tuchel continues, an excellent story is circulating about the Blues’ meddling new owner Todd Boehly.
According to rumours, the American billionaire called Tuchel in for a player recruitment meeting soon after he bought the club.
There, he presented a proposed line up for the team this season. Tuchel was mildly annoyed by the omission of goalkeeper Edouard Mendy and the selection of 37-year-old Ronaldo up front, but there was a far more concerning detail.
The proposed starting line up contained 12 players, with the outfield ones laid out in a rare 4-4-3 formation…
During his glittering career, Arsenal legend LeeDixon was known for his sharp mind and cool head on the pitch.
But those qualities deserted him on Sunday, when an innocent question about why goalkeepers don’t wear hats any more led him to speculate that the whole climate change thing might be some sort of illuminati hoax.
Speaking on American TV, the Arsenal legend asked commentator Arlo White: “Why don’t goalkeepers wear caps any more? It’s all changed since the 70s.”
But rather than slipping into cosy nostalgia for a bygone era, Dixon‘s query took a conspiratorial turn:
“All goalies used to wear caps when it was sunny. And now we’ve got global warming… allegedly“.
Before Lee could go full tin foil hat and accuse referee Paul Tierney of being some sort of shapeshifting lizard nonce, White waded in with a more prosaic explanation for the lack of caps on keepers’ heads: the stands are taller in stadiums these days, blocking the sun.
Just when the witchcraft blackmail plot against Paul Pogba was taking centre stage in the macabre psychodrama of French football, resident headcases Wanda and Mauro Icardi are embroiled in an absurd scandal of their own.
The Paris St Germain striker and his wife/agent have been charged with human trafficking after their former housekeeper accused them of enslaving her, forcing her to sleep on the floor of the utility room and go days without food.
The woman, known only as Carmen, says the couple confiscated her phone and passport, failed to pay her for three years, and left her on her own at their house in rural Italy where she ran out of food and was forced to live off old bags of rice for days.
So yeah, just another normal week for the Icardis. Who deny the charges, by the way.
