Hello this is Peng Shuai. I can’t take your call right now because I am celebrating Comrade Xi and his noble vision for a Great Chinese Century
It’s been ten days since anyone saw Peng Shuai, the Wimbledon doubles champion who accused a senior Chinese politician of sexual abuse.
We feared the worst until Wednesday, when Chinese state media published an email which it claimed was from the tennis star.
Opening with “Hello everyone this is Peng Shuai”, the email retracts all the abuse allegations, which it says are “untrue”. Finally, it reassures readers: “I’m not missing, nor am I unsafe. I’ve just been resting at home and everything is fine.”
Panic over!
