How about we take that early bath together?
As Dutch left-back Jeff Hardeveld trudged off following a red card last summer, he was braced for a bollocking from his manager and a long journey home.
He certainly didn’t have time to notice the attentions of fourth official Shona Shukrula, who stood on the touchline, mentally undressing him and wondering whether he was kind to animals and children.
But the pair got talking and now, four months later, they have officially announced they are a couple. Mazel tov!