Rolling pedals for the gold medals: the Astana rap track
With its rich history of doping, the Astana cycling team is to clean and fair competition what Edward Scissorhands is to wanking.
Given that tradition of dodgy dealings, it’s fitting that the Kazakh outfit have released a new rap track, imaginatively titled Astana is My Team.
The video sees a procession of riders and staff deliver patriotic rhymes and slightly laboured dance moves.
Overall we’d describe the vibe as “international school kids borrowing their Dad’s GoPro”, although the chorus “rolling pedals, for the gold medals” is surprisingly catchy.
There’s even a role for the team’s Bond villain manager, Alexander Vinokourov. A former doper himself, Vino is, and we don’t use this expression lightly, bent as a nine bob note.
Most famously, he paid a rival €100k to let him win a race, which is one way to get those gold medals.
